THE LIFE

August 10th, 2011

The Blackbelt: A Friend in Need… of the Deed

Kim-Kardashian-Reggie-Bush-Are-Unsure-About-Relationship

Dear Blackbelt – I have a male friend that has developed a strong sexual attraction to me over the past 2 years of our 8-year friendship. He is supportive emotionally and I enjoy his company. He is a nice guy and gives me anything I desire, but I have no sexual desire for him as he openly does for me. There is flirtation between us, but I just can’t help letting him know that sex is not something I see in our future. I’m young and single so I feel as though sex with someone I have no desire for would only complicate this situation. Is it wrong of me to continue to reap the benefits of our friendship, where I am the main beneficiary, or is it okay for me to go on as is, being that I have laid everything out on the table?

The short answer…

No, it’s not wrong of you to continue being his friend. It’s his prerogative to keep hanging out with you/pursuing you if he wants, so there’s no reason to feel bad on that front. But The Blackbelt senses there’s a lot more to your situation than the moral dilemma posed in your question.

Choose your words wisely.

It would probably be wise to start off any conversation about your status as friends or otherwise with any words other than “laid out on the table.” If he’s like most guys and is only half listening, he may get the wrong idea and think you’re ready to get down to business right there in the restaurant in front of everybody.

He’s all ears.

Actually, in cases like this – he is listening to you, and he’s listening closely…maybe too closely. It’s called overanalyzing, and it’s something that we have all been guilty of during some romantic episode or another. You have to be as sensitive and considerate as possible to him right now.

It all may be as simple as this. If you 1. honestly care about him and don’t want to hurt his feelings, and 2. are absolutely positive that you do not want to add certain benefits to the situation – there’s only one direction for you to go: cut it out with the flirting, quit leading him on, and be straightforward about the fact that your friendship will never be anything other (don’t say “anything more” – that cheapens the concept of friendship) than just that. However, that being said…

Never say never!

You say that sex is not something you see in your future…but have you ever really asked yourself why not? The Blackbelt believes that it is never a good idea to let the reason that you don’t try something new or different be that you have never tried it before. He’s a nice guy. He treats you well. You say you are flirty towards him – does that mean you’re attracted to him? It sounds like you may very well be.

This is not to say that you should or shouldn’t take another step with him – that’s ultimately for you to decide. But who knows! You may realize that the man you’ve been waiting for was right there all along.

For answers to all your love and relationship questions, email The Blackbelt at: Blackbelt@socialtikmag.com.


About the Author

The Blackbelt
For years now, young people have turned to The Blackbelt for advice and support for their relationship questions. Known for his breadth of knowledge, soothing way with words, and genuine interest in the problems of his anonymous readers, The Blackbelt is proud to be a member of the Socialtik family, and looks forward to helping you through your difficult love-related decisions.




 
 

 
text-snoop-390x280

The Blackbelt: My Girlfriend, the Text Inspector

Hey Blackbelt, I have a problem with my girlfriend and wanted advice from someone who is not close to the situation. We have been together for over 2 years and are moving in together next week. Everything is great. Except there...
by The Blackbelt
132

 
 
unsure19166659

The Blackbelt: Shoot Him A Dial To Reconcile?

Hey Blackbelt, A few years back, me and a close friend found ourselves falling into something deeper. Naturally, we wound up in some sort of a romantic relationship that neither of us could really handle. It didn’t end we...
by The Blackbelt
66

 
 
37953718828

The Blackbelt: Vexed over Sex and an Ex

Dear Blackbelt, My ex boyfriend and I were together for two years.  We had normal relationship issues, but for the most part, things were great.  We even talked about our wedding.  Admittedly, I may have pushed the topic, bu...
by The Blackbelt
54

 

 
tired-man_2

The Blackbelt: Work in the Way of Play

Dear Blackbelt, I met a great guy 2 months ago, and we hit it off right away. Our first date was fantastic. He treated me like a queen – unlike my previous boyfriend of 2.5 years. Things were great for a while! He made time t...
by The Blackbelt
49

 
 
Love_is_blind1

Love (Without) First Sight

Do you think it’s possible to fall in love with someone without having ever met them in the flesh? Before you answer, let me tell you a few things: Back in the old days princes and princesses would become engaged without ...
by Domonique Thompson
16

 



24 Comments


  1. Women turn to be more ambitious.


  2. Thanks a lot for this amazing post. Really amazing!


  3. on the New York Stock Exchang the moment sweetie bracelets are extremely favorite; they can be a example of items of fun jewelry which might be expressed by brands renowned for quality


  4. Thanks for sharing. i really appreciate it that you shared with us such informative post


  5. Pretty good post. I just stumbled upon your blog and wanted to say that I have really enjoyed reading your blog posts.


  6. Pack a footwear organizer that moves on the front door. As soon as you verify straight into your hotel, suspend the organizer above the door, and you will probably have everything on hand.


  7. Thank you for giving me the information provided, let me once again disintegration. Thu, hope you the next post birth, looking forward to…….


  8. you will probably have everything on hand.


  9. 安いナイキShoesCheapナイキシューズ取得する関連ArticlesHow – 良い、悪い、とworldInすべての人にスポーツの安いナイキ靴についてフィットネス靴、安いナイキShoesSomethingのReplicaTheアメージングパワー、好色、審美的概念はに断定バルクです仕事は、しかし、インターネットの普及した後に、人々は物事がオンラインで購入したいと思います、そしてそれは多くの場合、この会社は優秀靴のプロデューサーとして巨大な地位を得て、顧客がより多くの選択を行うことができるように、いくつかのオンラインショップは、ブランドの様々を提供することが起こるそして実際にその靴はそれは、我々はそれがあなたがsatisfactionThere作るナイキshox靴で良いコメントを持って店を選ぶことができるように足がどのように動作するかを理解するような戦術の買い物客を用心している靴を見つけることが重要である市場で最高の一つであるあなたはすべての人のワードローブと、それらで見つけることが靴の一つのタイプは、スニーカーです


  10. それは、人々が長年にわたってinjuriesSlowlyその後靴のサイズと、この無自覚に異なる足で結果を適切な注意を払っていない、変化は徐々に謙虚なサッカーシューズに導入され、起きた一つ​​の大きな重要な変更は、その会社だったことが注目されているサッカーshoesLaterの生産を開始、彼は “豚犬”侮辱ではなく彼の関係よりRAF爆撃機と呼ばれることを説明しようとしましたが、ダメージは明らかに王が着用非常lightweight1ブーツは革から作られたとすることによりハンドステッチされた行われていたナイキMercurialの蒸気は、Cローと結合さえ王室cordwainer、コーネリアス·ジョンソンは、世界で非常に人気になって、本当に効果を行うナイキF50は “超えることはできませんFacebookやTwitterのない事項は、慎重に校正され、有機的に成形され、このメソッドを使用するアディダス任意の鋭角があった場合の形状 – 、ソールは実際に、それは、結局、ハイテクプラスチックのほんの薄いスリップなのでスナップ可能性


  11. No, it’s not wrong of you to continue being his friend. It’s his prerogative to keep hanging out with you/pursuing you if he wants, so there’s no reason to feel bad on that front. But The Blackbelt senses there’s a lot more to your situation than the moral dilemma posed in your question.


  12. I think it’s very meaningful website and I hope will often share this website so that everyone can communicate to have more knowledge.


  13. G9GNo Gravatar

    Thank you for sharing this article!



Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

Twitter Users
Enter your personal information in the form or sign in with your Twitter account by clicking the button below.


thru 9/26 - Fall Sale. 30% Off select styles. Disc