July 20th, 2010

Case of the Ex

Does anyone have that  ex-boyfriend that could have a second chance if the time was right? The ex girlfriend you would love to show that you understand what it takes to be in a relationship the second time around?

Well, if you’ve answered yes to both of these questions then we are in the same boat.

I’ve been down the dreadful path of rekindling a flame that should have burnt out a while ago.  My excuse that helps me justify the mistake for the second time is that, “I was young.”


There is a certain comfort level that is usually shared with an ex that doesn’t need to be explained. Biggie had a line about it and Ne-Yo made a whole song about it; there’s no denying that most of us are guilty of the crime.

Is there a manual that lays out the rules of what to do and what not to do when you think you’re in love with someone? Unfortunately,, there isn’t.

If you’re “guilty” of giving a second, or sometimes a third chance, don’t feel bad,  but chances aren’t for everybody!

Glad to say I would never in my lifetime give my ex boyfriend another chance. Not only because he is a hot mess, but  he does not fit into the plans I have for my future.  I’ve had a  nightmare or two about him in the past six months and he has tried to follow me on Twitter, but that’s just way too much communication for me.

I’m not too worried about him attacking me in real life or being able to keep up with my life online (I blocked him!). Although we have no contact,  it may be a sign to let the regret of giving him a chance go. Things happen in life, especially the love life, which we have no control over.

I can not help but feel sorry for those of us who have and will experience The Case of the Ex, whether it be while we’re single or in a current relationship. I’m not saying it’s the most terrible thing a person can experience, but I do think  it’s often one of the largest test of character and trust.

Some things don’t work out, but it is important to remember that the world runs on love and hate; It’s the lifeline.

About the Author

Demaris Bailey
Demaris Bailey is an Editor for Socialtik Mag and public relations scholar from the Bronx, NY. Attending high school in suburban Massachusetts and a Historically Black University has helped her understand cultural boundaries and differences.



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