Marriage is a step in life that requires undying trust, love and devotion to your significant other. Like many others, I’ve witnessed the rise and fall of many marriages, both inside and outside my inner circle. My friends and I always wonder which of us is going to get married first and the one with the most steady relationship history, wins for first place.
However, just because you have a special someone, that doesn’t’ mean that they are going to be that “special someone.” Marriage is a lifetime commitment and that type of decision shouldn’t be made overnight.
I get an eerie feeling of excitement and nervousness when I see many of my friends from high school and college entering the sacred institutions of marriage and parenthood. With the many breakups and make-ups of young adulthood, never did I imagine that many of my peers would take the leap at such a young age.
Okay, 23-26 isn’t that young of an age, but you get my drift.
I’m 23, single and no kids, which makes my outlook on such things a bit bleak. Thankfully, it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to know that there are many things to be taken into account while getting to know a significant other; no matter what kind of outcome you are seeking.
Cosmopolitan.com wants to help women, and I’m sure men, take the wool off their eyes and see what’s real. Everyone knows there’s a huge difference between Mr. Just Right and Mr. Just Wrong. The names speak for themselves. Hopefully, these tips come in handy before the $60 a plate reception and $600 5 tier strawberry truffle cake.
Don’t Just Dismiss His Past
Is there a chapter of your boyfriend’s history that bothers you because it so doesn’t sound like the guy you know? Then you need to decide if your relationship could survive a repeat, because odds are good that old habits will return.
Own Up to What You Need
So you love that your guy is a foodie or a stylish dresser. That’s all great, as long as you’re not so dazzled by those qualities that you overlook the fact that he’s lacking more important ones.
Take Off Your Future-Goggles and See Him as Is
Say he’s an MBA student with big plans to become a CEO. Will you feel just as lucky to have him if student-loan bills are the only concrete result of that degree? “Remember that you’re marrying the guy he is now, not the man he might be one day,” says couples therapist Jennifer Gauvain, coauthor of How Not to Marry the Wrong Guy.
Beware His Family Dynamics
Depending on how close he is to his family, it’s not just him you’re marrying. And while you might be able to ignore them now, his family will play a big role in your life once you’re hitched. Remember that these people will be not be just at your wedding but also at roughly half your future holidays, at the hospital when your children are born, and quite possibly on your sofa for extended visits.
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