I don’t know when it happened. I don’t know how it happened. All I know is that it happened. I fell in love. And not just any type of love either! I think I fell into the worst type of love there is. Unrequited!Different from any other type of love, unrequited love hurts the most. You love someone so much and want to be with them so bad but they, for some reason or another, can’t or don’t love you back.
Damn! This must be how God feels with some of us. I mean, His is often an unrequited love right? “For God so loved the world….” right? But where does it say that the world loves Him back? This really sucks!
I don’t know if it makes any difference, but the object of my love also happens to be my First Love. We haven’t been in a relationship in years. To make matters even more complicated, my First Love even slept with a dear friend of mine, so why am I still IN LOVE with this person?
I’ve had other relationships since, but for some reason, every once in a while I can hear a song (the one they used to break up with me!) and think of them. Usually it’s fond memories and after all, to this day we are friends. But, then there are times, like today, when I find myself plunged into a deep pit of remorse and self loathing. Remorse for what was and what could have been. And also remorse for even feeling remorse in the first place.
What is it that enables us to love someone so much and so hard even when they don’t love us back? The only other example I can think of is the case with God and Man. I am a Christian and I believe, like I stated earlier, what John 3:16 says. And according to Christianity, humanity was created in the image and likeness of God. So is this ability to love so wholeheartedly and so passionately, without reciprocity, a Divine trait?
I believe it is! But where does our humanity step in and say “Enough is enough”? Or should we even get to that point? What do you do when you can’t seem to get over someone?
Looking back at other relationships, I find that I have stopped speaking to and caring for people who have done far less than my First Love. In one of my relationships my feelings for my First Love were the reason for so much turmoil in the relationship. What is it about this four letter word that can command such strong and sometimes irrational feelings and actions?
With Valentine’s Day being right around the corner, I guess now is a good time to talk about the power of love. Why is it so strong? What do you do to control it? Can you control it? I really don’t know!
But don’t cry for me Argentina! Like I said, I usually go through these phases of extreme depression/yearning followed by periods of sunshine and lollipops (LOL)!But I don’t want to continue on like that. How do you climb up out of the pit of love? How do you get over someone who, chances are, aren’t even thinking about you?