December 13th, 2010

The Power of Self-Reflection

Well, another year has just about come and gone. Just as we were so excited for it to begin, we are now ready for it to be over with. While I’m enthused about all that 2011 has in store for me and my love life, I am very thankful for all the lessons of love I have learned in 2010. They were awakening, refreshing and unforgettable.

As most people do, I started the year off with many friends and family in my innermost circle, but just weeks before that ball drops, my reality is setting in. A lot of those relationships are not going to make it into the next year.

Spring cleaning has come early and I’m glad to get rid of those dust bunnies from under the couch.

Eliminating, evaluating and readjusting are processes that only make our minds a little wiser and our hearts a little stronger than they were the year before. It’s never an easy task to let go of people we once held near and dear, but who said loving from a distance isn’t love?

With everything that I’ve learned about friends and family, there’s been so much I’ve learned about myself as well. I never quite thought of myself as Mother Teresa, but there were some characteristics within myself that I had a tendency to overlook in certain situations.  I like to call it the “It’s not me, It’s you” syndrome.

For every action that put a bad taste in my mouth, I had a reaction; many might call them nuclear. Stepping outside to look in has showed me that we often need to listen to our thoughts a few times over before we relay them as public information.

I can’t help it that I’m a Pisces who just so happens to be very feisty, but I can definitely help who I get feisty with and what I let send me over the deep end. By the way, I’m not much of a good swimmer.

Self-awareness and acceptance are two things that will help us in every aspect of life in the New Year. The elimination, reevaluation and adjustments have no meaning or effect if we don’t include ourselves in the process.

Beauty is only in the eye of the beholder, so please make sure your mirror is clean before you start talking about the flaws and all of others. It can be you and not them. Yes. That is strongly possible.

For all of the least desirable situations many of us may have experienced this year, there were also many joys and triumphs. Finding new love, old love becoming new and, most importantly, learning new and exciting things about the universal language of sex and love has made 2010 worthwhile.

A new year is a new chance to be a better friend, girlfriend, boyfriend, sister, brother and whatever other titles you’ve been given by the man above. Moreover, it’s a chance to be a better you. In a world where nothing ever stays the same, it’s the only thing we have complete control of.

About the Author

Demaris Bailey
Demaris Bailey is an Editor for Socialtik Mag and public relations scholar from the Bronx, NY. Attending high school in suburban Massachusetts and a Historically Black University has helped her understand cultural boundaries and differences.



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  1. I agree. I am doing a lot of self-reflection. Not just related to love but all aspects of my life. I chose to take a “break” from the “real” world after graduating with my Masters degree now it’s time for me to re-evaluate it all and decide what I need to do next. I also have various relationships that need to be re-evaluated (but don’t we all? ;-0)
    Thanks again for the article.

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