August 20th, 2010

The Ten Commandments For Your First Date


In my opinion, dating etiquette should be a course provided in college. You may think that the rules regarding first dates are pretty obvious, but because I’ve heard countless first date horror stories, I believe some people may need further guidance.

Your first date should be pleasurable, but some people just can’t see the thin line between acceptable and inappropriate. So in order to alleviate the proclamations of “I didn’t know,” the following Ten Commandments for the First Date have been forged.

Read them over and over and feel free to hang them on your wall or place a copy in your wallet. Whatever you decide, just make sure you are never the culprit or allow someone to commit these crimes against you.

Thou shall not use your cell phone

I swear cell phones are a catalyst propelling society to become less interactive with the people in your presence. Not only is it rude to pull out your phone during a date, but it shows that you are not really interested. If you’re expecting an important phone call, excuse yourself; don’t answer it in front of your date. Try putting your phone on silent for the duration of the date and check your missed calls, text messages and emails later.

Thou shall not go Dutch

I may be old school, but I do not believe that a woman should be paying for anything on the first date. If you invited me out, then be man enough to play your role and pick up the tab. Yes, it’s 2010 and everybody is on the “Miss Independent” movement, but the men should still play the lead role. A woman likes to know that a man can take care of her. Maybe you can go Dutch on the third or fourth date, but the first one, is on you.

Thou shall not double date

This can either work for you or against you. If it’s a blind date, a friend to accompany you can make the experience feel more comfortable. The downside is, you can become a little too comfortable and forget that you are on date and pay more attention to your friend. The whole purpose of the date is to learn more about the person and a group setting may not be the best atmosphere for you to test the waters.

Thou shall not talk about past relationships

Don’t bring your past into the present. It may be hard, but try leaving details of your past relationship out of the conversation. If you are asked, give a brief answer and move on to the next topic. After all, your ex is your ex for a reason and you should not ruin a future prospect with old news.

Thou shall not dominate the conversation

Let the conversation flow smoothly, but make sure you listen just as much as you speak. No one wants to listen to a motor mouth all night. Allow room for your date to express themselves as well, because that is the way you will learn more about them. How will you be able to decide if you like them, if you dominated the whole conversation? Zip it up and throw away the key!

Thou shall not order messy food

Ordering a slab of ribs not only makes you look like a complete beast, but chances are you will have BBQ sauce all over your hands and dripping from the corner of your mouth. Not the sexy look you should be going for. Don’t order anything that would involve you asking for a bib and extra wet wipes with your entree. Remain classy, at least for the first date.

Thou shall not flirt with the waiter or waitress

Yes, your waiter may have the body of a god/goddess, but try to stay focused on the task at hand. You should never flirt with the waiter or waitress at the table or when you go to the bathroom. You never know if your date has perfect vision and may see you slip your digits when you make the sharp left towards the restrooms. Be respectful and take an “L”
on this one.
Thou shall not get drunk

Sometimes a drink is used as a means of relaxation or a personality enhancer, but you should know your limits. If you are a light drinker, limit yourself to one drink. If you have a higher tolerance, limit yourself to two drinks. Don’t embarrass yourself and have to apologize for it later.

Thou shall not request a second date

You should NEVER ask for a second date! Let the situation happen on its own. If there was any chemistry, a second date will most likely follow. It may make you seem a little desperate, if you can’t finish the first date before you are inquiring about the next. Make the “chase” more ambiguous and less obvious. No matter how much they deny it, people love it when you play hard to get.

Thou shall not have sex

This is last for sooo many reasons. Some people may do this, but I think it is inappropriate to have sex with someone after the first date. Leave a little to the imagination and give your date something to look forward to – if they make it that far. If you give up the goodies on the first date, you will be ruining the whole courting process.

About the Author

Giovanie Stiven
Giovanie Stiven was born in New York and raised between the Concrete Jungle and Haiti. She is an aspiring PR professional and is still on the search to identifying herself. After volunteering at a number of organizations, she hopes that she can inspire others to become more motivated in being an active figure in their communities.



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