June 28th, 2010

The Truth Hurts

“The truth is incontrovertible.  Malice may attack it.  Ignorance may deride it.  But in the end, there it is.” – Winston Churchill

If honesty is the best policy, then why can it cause so much trouble? We, especially women, say that we want the truth but it’s often something that we can’t handle as well as we would like to.

When girls and guys go through each other’s phones, they know what they are looking for, but get mad when they find it. Why? Wasn’t the point of invading your significant other’s privacy to have proof of what you suspected?

Thankfully, I’ve only done the snooping thing once and yes, the incriminating evidence (the truth) was there – sticking its tongue out at me saying “I told you so!”

In the dating world, the truth can lead to a breakthrough, a breakdown, or a break-up. Be careful what you wish for because you just might get it!

black-coupleI’ve always been the type to promote honesty in a relationship. Not because my personality can be a little blunt at times, but because I think it creates less confusion in the end. Also, the guessing game lost its cool factor in high school.

However, my honesty is the best policy spiel to a friend has recently provided them with a breakthrough they weren’t ready for. Someone she believed to be on the same page as as her, was  reading a totally different chapter.

Her and “Mr. Smart Guy” had a blooming friendship with just the right amount of attraction. Her curiosity was burning to know if there could be a chance for more. Sad to say her quest for the truth wasn’t quite what she’d expected it to be.

She told me she couldn’t understand why a college-educated male would allow the opinions of other individuals to effect their potential relationship. He was so concerned with the negative views of their mutual friends that he overlooked the possibilities he could have had with my friend. According to her, he was “real” and had the ability to communicate his “true” thoughts all the time.

I was never too sure of him, but hey! Who am I to judge? Prior to this, she had never thought “Mr. Smart Guy” was the type to be influenced by  the opinions of others, so she was quite puzzled. Now, I can’t understand it either, but when it comes to the opposite sex there are a lot of things we will never understand about each other.

Although I felt partially guilty for pushing her to approach “Mr. Smart Guy” about their “true” possibilities, it wasn’t hard for me to keep the honesty thing going. I feel like there are so many “Mr. Smart Guy’s” out there; so smart until their dumb and afraid to tell the “truth” at the end of the day. Therefore, I gave my friend the best non-male bashing advice I could possibly give her.

“If it smells like bullsh*t, looks like bullsh*t, and sounds like bullsh*t, then most likely it is. Don’t be mad at him. This  only means that it’s time to make a decision that allows you to stay true to yourself.”

In the words of Lil’ Kim, “We got no time for fake ones!”

About the Author

Demaris Bailey
Demaris Bailey is an Editor for Socialtik Mag and public relations scholar from the Bronx, NY. Attending high school in suburban Massachusetts and a Historically Black University has helped her understand cultural boundaries and differences.



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  1. love this article

  2. haha..I love this!

  3. love this article

  4. haha..I love this!

  5. No time for fake ones! lol…this happens all the time!

  6. As the trite phrase goes it is all right to tell the truth to make someone smile than to tell a lie to make someone smile, I mean that would be really terrible.

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